a little better than sheer whining.

this is wishful thinking. i am about to hypocrite the shit out of this blog. really, i'm not even kidding. but behind the facade of false statements, there is an earnest want for these thoughts to be my own. i know, deep inside, they are mine, i just have to rediscover them. i have to dust off those worn and tattered threads of optimism that have pulled thin and proved weak. but i will do it. first by telling myself i will, and second by learning i can. through thinking and doing and hoping, i will do it.

here's a lead-on from a friend of mine: everything has a purpose.
is that true? who knows. but we have to believe that it is. its what gets us through the day, its what makes us hang on just a little bit longer. whether you believe in a higher power or not, whether you, too, talk to the god that i know [who by the way, isn't hypocritical like his church is and thinks sex before marriage is wonderful!] you have to believe that your life has a purpose.

maybe your purpose is grand. maybe you're a dreamer who reaches for the unreachable and does the undoable. keep it up kid, you'll get there. you're what inspires the rest of us to think like you, to open our minds and hearts to the possibilities rather than the impossibilities. never forget: if you shoot for moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. you will. your will will get you there, it really will.

but maybe your purpose isn't so clear... maybe you're stumbling around in the dark unable to discern up from down, right from wrong. if you are, hold on to your purpose like it's your last breath. let that purpose be being that stable rock for your wavering friends, or living life with a grin plastered on your face... your purpose does not need to be grand. it does not need to be daring. it just needs to be.

without this, without us as people being able to work towards a certain goal [let it be big or small], life loses its sheen. it grows tarnished and faded and the appeal of it all simply loses focus. clench onto your purpose with all that you have, work towards it, live your life in hopes of it, and be proud that it's what you're working towards.

in the end, without a purpose as individuals, we disappear. we sink deep and deep into that indistinguishable abyss of millions of people that surround us everywhere we turn. we forget ourselves, and we are forgotten by others. you don't deserve to be forgotten. you deserve to live a life that changes another, and you deserve to take your final, gasping breaths knowing you meant something to someone, knowing that you will be missed.

we are all just wandering souls, fading in and out of the background music, but we can be made loud and clear by how we choose to affect others.