nothing brilliant here.

have you ever had one of those days? one of those days where nothing terrible really happened, but the sheer fact that piles and piles of slightly not-so-fun things happened until one after another just made everything suck... and the worst part about it is that you can't even really whine about it because nothing really bad happened. well today was one of those days. and because i don't want to force anyone to listen to me, you get to listen to me whine because you're doing reading this out of free will. warning! if i were you, i would click that little x in the top righthand corner now!

reasons why today sucked!

1. got all excited to get to go to church this morning, just to wake up and look at my not-yet-sprung-forward clock to see that it's 8:15... then think in my head, I'M LATE FOR CHURCH AH! and speedily get ready just to realize that it was in fact 9:15 and that i had already missed church.
2. still upset from last night that i didn't get to make new friends at sam's party last night : (
3. played tennis with my sister and she BEAT me for the first two games, which reminded me of the all-constant fact of no matter how hard i try, i still suck. glad to know those hours and hours of practice i spend every week is really doing good things for me...
4. my stupid confused perfectionist head interpreted what i saw in the mirror as 'fatass.' when i put on my bikini to go out on the lake... funtimes.
5. lake ended up not being so fun after all because the whole time my sister just bossed me around, claiming that she had the right to because she let me come hang out with her friends
6. slammed the trunk on my head as i grabbed my stuff out of friend's car... how i did that, i do not know, but it hurt like a motherrrrr.
7. mom yelled at me for my room being crazy messy. maybe if i actually had time to stop my hyperactive head i would have time to clean my freaking room???
8. essay that i worked really hard on turned out to be a flop... i really liked it! a lot! but then teacher told me it wasn't near as good as i could've done.... and the words ♪ when you try your best, but you don't succeed ♪ just rang over and over in my head...
9. failed ap practice test. i thought i was pretty well off, but i did way worse than expected and now i'm pretty pumped to know that i'm not near as prepared as i hoped to be...
10. exhaustionnnnnnnnnn and apathyyyyyyyy and pesssssimisssssmmmm are creeping through my veins and i don't know how to stop them. i feel like the UN over here telling them to stop, but not actually having the power to do anything!

so. today sucked. i hope my pessimism spread from me to you, yay! not really though. hopefully you'll read this and say 'hey, that's not cool' or 'hey, that sounds miserable. i wouldn't ever want to be like that!' and my cynical rantings can do something other than just make you miserable too? or not... maybe this is just a waste of words and a waste of thoughts. so with that, i think its time to close my mouth, flip off the lights, stop the thoughts and just turn off everrrrything. goodnighttt.